All I Ever Needed To Know I Learned From Emma Pillsbury's Pamphlets
You may want to call Jerry Springer about that problem.
If you're in high school, YOU'RE TOO OLD.
Proper Wiping Easy As 1-2-3! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Yuk, My Privates...WHAT? I NEED TO KNOW!
"Oh, hi, Will."
"Yes, as a matter of fact, I CAN help you with your wiping issues."