Saturday, June 19, 2010

Making Up Emma - The Pilot

Hi guys! It’s Teresa!! I am so excited that so many people (okay, really 3) asked for me to Emma-fy the first 13 episodes while we are on this excruciatingly long hiatus! There is nothing that brings me more joy than making people laugh, Glee and MS Paint. This combines them all! Hope you enjoy!

Summer Rewind:

The Pilot (PB&J) 1.01

It was the moment it all began. The moment we will tell our grandchildren about.

The moment a blog was born.

Emma Pillsbury walks into the teacher’s lounge at McKinley High and everyone takes notice. Or not.


LOOK AT HER CLOTHES! Who's that lady? Forget the scene, and the fact that she’s putting plastic sandwich gloves on and wiping the already-clean table---look at that blouse. And where did that adorable cardigan come from?! It was that moment (for the purposes of this post) as legend has it, that Danielle had a little light bulb go off in her head: Emma would be wearing great clothes, and people would need to know about those great clothes.

Lightning struck! The light bulb BURST! A BLOG WAS BORN! 7 lbs 3 oz, WWEPW!!



So we all saw the Pilot, which is just called “Pilot” which is a lame title, so I’ve decided to call it “Peanut Butter & Jelly.” PB&J begins with some startling news:



The original Glee teacher was too soft for the rough slushie-throwers of McKinley High, so Emma tells Will Glee needs a new coach. She tries to be subtle, but subtlety is not one of Emma’s strong suits, as she looks like she just wants to devour Will right along with those carrot sticks. I think she has a crush….do you? I dunno….seems like it. Hmmm….



Will has to go home and think about it, because this rag-tag group of misfits is led by none other than RACHEL FREAKING BERRY. Does Will want that kind of responsibility?? Does he need that kind of stress?



He goes to bed. He thinks. Emma thinks. Will thinks. With his shirt off. Emma thinks about Will. With his shirt off. Her Bang Swoosh seems to rise the more she thinks. Emma desperately wants Will to take over Glee.



The next day, Emma has a dilemma. Do you notice how the name EMMA is inside of a DILEMMA? I just did. And we got our first glimpse of what would be known as Emma’s famous J. Crew Mary-Janes as the dainty counselor steps in some gum but reacts like she just stumbled into a pile of steaming horse turds.



Of course, Will saves her life. And then he asks her to chaperon a Glee trip with him. Of course, she says HECK YES I WILL, WILL. They’ve eaten together before, but not TOGETHER-TOGETHER. Their lunch dates usually looked like this:

Emma is SUPER-psyched to go on this trip with Will (and the kids, whatever). Maybe they can ditch the kids?




Will doesn’t like Hyderabadi biryani and prefers the richer flavor of Kozhikode biryani. Luckily, Emma has a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in her purse. Will practically wets himself over the gourmet flavor of Emma’s Giada-style sandwich with expensive, organic peanut butter and jelly made from hand-crushed berries harvested by Tibetan virgins in the springtime while chanting sacred hymns.



It is pretty clear that they are not really talking about peanut butter. At least Emma’s not. Will is going to need a glass of water after this sandwich. Emma is enjoying their conversation when suddenly, a voice bellows out:



RACHEL F. BERRY (the F is for FREAKING) interrupts their moment! Get used to it, Will and Emma, this girl has no boundaries and is ready to kill any romance at any chance she gets. WATCH OUT! Meanwhile, Will is still in the middle of his foodgasm.



After the performance, Emma has something serious to tell Will. She knows about WWEPW. She wants to let him know, gently. Would this cause problems between them? Would this jeopardize the periwinkle cardigans??



Once again, Rachel finds her way into the conversation! Will is upset to know he’s not the star of the website, but Rachel is furious! And now Emma is furious! WHY IS SHE EVEN HERE?! I THOUGHT I LOCKED THE DOOR.





Emma tries again.



Also, can I Rachel-Berry this Rewind to say, BEST EMMA MAKEUP EVER!! That great bronze eyeshadow and fantastic lashes!



Emma tries again. Maybe this time, Will will understand. Will Will? Will will. He might have taken over Glee, but she runs the SCHOOL OF STYLE at McKinley.



Will chokes up as he look at the laptop that also has a magic screen on both sides. (YEAH GET JEALOUS I JUST INVENTED IT).



And that was how, after watching this episode, this little blog was born. Will came to terms with Emma’s style dominance and Emma understood that Rachel Berry was a permanent pain in the tush, but this is Glee, and everything will be alright because WE SING ABOUT IT.


What was your favorite Emma look from the Pilot, wwepw-ers?

32 comments:

Mrs M said...

This. Is. Incredible.

Heather said...

I may or may not have giggle-snorted my way through this. My mum thought I was having problems.

Danielle said...

OMG. GIRL. I cannot stop laughing. The biryani. Mary Catherine Gallgher. The double-sided computer. "Will Will? Will Will." SO MUCH AWESOME in one post. I bow to your hilarity and Paint skillzzzzzzzzz!!!!

STANDING F. OVATION (The F is for FREAKING!)

Eliz said...

I've said it already, but this was SO HILARIOUS and really made me want to re-watch the pilot!

RACHEL STOP YOUR SNEAKING RIGHT NOW.

Really love Emma's hair & makeup in this ep. Jayma looks like such a baby!

Anonymous said...

My fave Emma outfit is the yellow cardi and skirt. I admit I didn't see Glee until the middle of this year but now love it. And I love your hysterically funny episode posts. Please continue!

Sarahnargle said...

EPIC BATTLE between the purple and white First Outfit Eva! and the Monochromatic Mustard with the PMJs. Mustard reminds you of that mustard scene, doesn't it. Yeah, I thought so.

Sarahnargle said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Megan said...

Oh my gosh. MARY KATHERINE FREAKING GALLAGHER? Again, you're awesome!

My favorite is definitely the outfit she's wearing when she steps in the gum/tar/horse turds.

Amberdawn said...

Way harsh. But great post :D

Dana said...

Love his pb & j-gasm. MKG rocks! SO much funny in here, love it!

vacantmuse said...

HOLY CRAP YES. THIS IS WHAT I NEED IN MY LIFE.
this and those shoes. but mostly this. (and those shoes).

kjmull126 said...

I. AM. IN. LOVE. WITH. YOUR. POSTS!!!

THIS WAS INCREDIBLE. I LAUGHED AND THEN CRIED TEARS OF LAUGHTER. MARY KATHERINE GALLAGHER! AHH!!

KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK!

Carol said...

Thank you. I really needed that. Really. =D

Essence B. said...

I loved the outfit Emma was wearing while she shared her peanut butter & jelly with Will. It's purple! It has a bow! It's plaid! The she stands to enter the auditorium and her shoes are NAVY. She is genius.

martine said...

You just keep me laughing. And it so should be The Emma Pillsbury Show.

Anonymous said...

I don't get you, Will Schuester! HYDERABADI BIRYANI IS AWESOME!!!!

Anonymous said...

Imma getting myself that laptop with two screens!!

Liz H. said...

OMG soooo funny!! HAHAH with the peanut butter jelly UNF <3 rofl and then the laptop with 2 screens <33 bahahaha and then RACHEL F. BERRY getting told off by Emma <3 lol Teresa, you will help get us through this hiatus!! <3

Can't wait until Showmance! :D

Anonymous said...

genius! I love it!!!!

Permanent Rose said...

Teresa, you always manage to make my day :P

I can't pick a favorite Emma look from PB&J (yes, I agree. Pilot won't do) She just looked so cute in everything.

I'm glad you've decided to go through and do all the episodes. I might have just squealed out loud when I read that :)

AmyB said...

Genius you are Teresa m'girl. One small request? Shirtless Will pic all the time? Plz? With hair product on top??

Rhianna said...

This is sooo funny!

Courtney said...

Lol - oh my lord, I have to stop reading these posts at work - my bosses are starting to look at me weirdly for all my laughing at my computer. Classic stuff - can't wait for the next installment!!

David Deangelo said...

I think in the article it seems to be that in pictures they are telling about some very nice story.

Pam @ bibbidi-bobbidi-beautiful said...

Can't tell you how happy I am to have found your fantastic blog!! BTW- do you think Emma would approve of my green cardi?

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