If you build it...
WWEPW is really my very own Field of Dreams. Only without all the crazy dead baseball player hallucinations. Mostly.
First, Teresa emerged from the cornfield, making us laugh until we cried with her Making Up Emma feature.
Next came Nicolle, who brought new wardrobe finds into our lives with GleeBay.
And now, I am proud to announce that the ever-fabulous Kathleen is going to be joining WWEPW as a featured writer, sharing her brilliant tales of The No Pants Challenge! Thank you, Kathleen, for bringing your wit and humor to WWEPW!
Yay, Kathleen! Kathleen, hooray!
Do you remember what your life was like before Glee? Before Emma Pillsbury stepped out of her closet? If it helps, squint your eyes a little and lean back. You probably got more fresh air. Your friends didn’t give each other that knowing glance across the restaurant table before politely asking you to change the conversation. You only used eBay to sell that two hundred dollar organic chemistry book you opened maybe three times.
Would you go back, if you had the chance? Would I? To that time on Tuesday nights where I never once said, “Hey Kate Austen, where did you get those oversized, blood-spattered cargo pants you’ve crawled around the jungle in for three months straight? I must have them immediately, or I will die!!!”
Nope. Maybe it was because I was studying to be a counselor, or maybe it was because my high school teachers are the be-all and the end-all on my heroes list. But when Glee sprang up out of the foamy wake left by years of horrible high school television shows, the gleam from a shiny pair of shoes caught my eye.
My name is Kathleen, and I haven’t worn pants in 122 Days. Because Emma Pillsbury doesn’t need pants to be cool, and neither do I. 122 days ago, I was just one of those people content to go to work in the same pair of faded dress pants and come home and slip into the same jeans and the same Debbie Harry t-shirt.
Probably like a lot of you, Lord Google demanded my attention when I became intrigued with a particular Pillsbury outfit. After a simple search, and after I had managed to wipe the string of drool from my chin, WWEPW gave me that first tug in the struggle out of my cocoon of fashion horror and helped me transform into a happy cardigan-clad butterfly. I started wearing my own skirts and mary janes that had spent closeted years in suspended animation until the day I was brave enough to fly free from the unkempt masses.
In my quest to own Emma Pillsbury’s wardrobe, I have learned a few things along the way. For one, you shouldn’t be ashamed to be the best dressed person in Wal-Mart. Or the DMV. Or Breadsticks. I’ve learned that pants are like Segway tours, or Crystal Pepsi. A good idea at first, but inevitably gratuitous. In the scope of history they are a mere blip on the radar. But a really cute skirt? Timeless.
Top Five No Pants Moments in The History of the Known Universe
5. Sir William Wallace defeats the British at the Battle of Stirling Bridge.
4. Bayside High cheerleaders win the Prank War against Valley.
3. Kristi Yamaguchi claims 1992 Olympic Figure Skating Gold.
2. Julius Caesar is assassinated.
1. Emma Pillsbury steps in gum.
Thank you WWEPW, for letting me share a few moments of fashion victory, heartbreaking loss, and public humiliation along the way to Day 365 of The No Pants Challenge. When there will be people parading, music playing, and fireworks exploding solely in honor of Emma Pillsbury clothes.
July 4, 2011.